"Stand Back"

Good Day.
I sooo hate it when I know I am on the edge of just blowing. I know God never gives you more than your shoulders can carry, but! He must think I can hold ALOT!!! First of all, I am self employed. Let me tell you, not the American Dream in any way. More like the American Nightmare. I clean movie theaters with my kids' dad and his wife. (I will have to explain that story another day!!) We work at night and have done this for over 14 years. Right now, we are about to loose some work so we went out to put bids in. I had this great feeling about this one we just dropped off. And what happens as I am driving out of the parking lot???? My brakes go out. Granted I drive a 95 van but it is all I got!!! I am pouring brake fluid out from the right. I have NO MONEY for this issue right now. But you see, this is how it goes for me. Up up up and fall straight down. One more thing to add to the stress list. How are we single moms to do it??? I am trying my hardest to raise 2 good kids in a time when people just don't instill values like they used to. I tell my son all the time, "Ladies first, hold the door, be a gentleman". All this while the man in front of men lets the door go and slam on us as we enter the store. Great example, dude. Thanks bunches. As for my daughter. She is NOT going to show her sadly inherited larger-than-they-should-be-boobs like all these other girls I see around her middle school. I yank that cammi up at least 5 times a morning before I finally say "Change!" and have to bicker with her about it. Really, she is a good kid. She doesn't fight me on much. And I know that she wants so much more than I can give her right now. Especially since she has "that friend" that constantly gets what she wants because mom and dad divorced and they both do what ever they can to buy her love. At least my kid recognizes thats whats going on. So I get madder. I work work work. And hardly ever sleep. I suffer from a severe case of psoriasis and each day I could dig myself raw with the stress of it all. Maybe if I just screamed??? Well, that would take energy I am not willing to waste. But I will keep praying. And writing you. And if no one reads, well, then it will be less embarassing if someone figures out this is who I am!! Until then, Like Stevie says: "No one knows how I feel / What I say unless you read between my lines"