Saturday, March 7, 2009
In the Air Tonight
I don't know why, but today's weather was just awseome. There was that breeze that makes you feel the season in the air. And now, it is still pouring in my windows. Truth be told, I am a bit chilly. But if I close the window, it seems like I am secretly ending our wonderful relationship that we had for one beautiful day. If that wind could talk, wonder how cool its stories would be? And what would it say about me today? She worried too much and let it take her today? She busied herself with things that could have waited when she should have went and shot hoops with her kids? How about simply "You are getting another chance tommorrow. Make better use of it." I hope so. . .
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Fire Woman
The reason I always liked that song Firewoman was the way the drum pounded in the background. No matter what I always doing, when it came on, I did the quick 360 check to make sure no one was listening and then I just had to rock out. Remember how it starts out with a few notes and then just loads into the song?? Really representative of today. Anything that started out small was HUGE in a record 2.1 seconds. On a normal day, nothing that a good DQ sundae couldn't fix. Today ~ a total 10 scoop Friendly's Jim Dandy kinda of day. If I had a magic wand, I wouldn't so much of waved it to make the situations better but rather make some of the PEOPLE disappear. Why has being an idiot became such a full time job for so many people??? I hate the line "this may hurt your feelings but. . .". Well then, shut the hell up! I do not need any further crap in my life. But still, the idiots continue to come into my life like they are on some journey to the temple of drive-me-crazy. So, I guess I have to say "Welcome" have some damn peanuts (hmmm...wonder what factory THEY came from???!!!) and lay it on me. Watch me spit fire, gang!! I think I have had enough. I got one idiot nerve left, and too many people are stepping on it!! Where did all the decent humans go?
Monday, March 2, 2009
"Stand Back"
Good Day.
I sooo hate it when I know I am on the edge of just blowing. I know God never gives you more than your shoulders can carry, but! He must think I can hold ALOT!!! First of all, I am self employed. Let me tell you, not the American Dream in any way. More like the American Nightmare. I clean movie theaters with my kids' dad and his wife. (I will have to explain that story another day!!) We work at night and have done this for over 14 years. Right now, we are about to loose some work so we went out to put bids in. I had this great feeling about this one we just dropped off. And what happens as I am driving out of the parking lot???? My brakes go out. Granted I drive a 95 van but it is all I got!!! I am pouring brake fluid out from the right. I have NO MONEY for this issue right now. But you see, this is how it goes for me. Up up up and fall straight down. One more thing to add to the stress list. How are we single moms to do it??? I am trying my hardest to raise 2 good kids in a time when people just don't instill values like they used to. I tell my son all the time, "Ladies first, hold the door, be a gentleman". All this while the man in front of men lets the door go and slam on us as we enter the store. Great example, dude. Thanks bunches. As for my daughter. She is NOT going to show her sadly inherited larger-than-they-should-be-boobs like all these other girls I see around her middle school. I yank that cammi up at least 5 times a morning before I finally say "Change!" and have to bicker with her about it. Really, she is a good kid. She doesn't fight me on much. And I know that she wants so much more than I can give her right now. Especially since she has "that friend" that constantly gets what she wants because mom and dad divorced and they both do what ever they can to buy her love. At least my kid recognizes thats whats going on. So I get madder. I work work work. And hardly ever sleep. I suffer from a severe case of psoriasis and each day I could dig myself raw with the stress of it all. Maybe if I just screamed??? Well, that would take energy I am not willing to waste. But I will keep praying. And writing you. And if no one reads, well, then it will be less embarassing if someone figures out this is who I am!! Until then, Like Stevie says: "No one knows how I feel / What I say unless you read between my lines"
I sooo hate it when I know I am on the edge of just blowing. I know God never gives you more than your shoulders can carry, but! He must think I can hold ALOT!!! First of all, I am self employed. Let me tell you, not the American Dream in any way. More like the American Nightmare. I clean movie theaters with my kids' dad and his wife. (I will have to explain that story another day!!) We work at night and have done this for over 14 years. Right now, we are about to loose some work so we went out to put bids in. I had this great feeling about this one we just dropped off. And what happens as I am driving out of the parking lot???? My brakes go out. Granted I drive a 95 van but it is all I got!!! I am pouring brake fluid out from the right. I have NO MONEY for this issue right now. But you see, this is how it goes for me. Up up up and fall straight down. One more thing to add to the stress list. How are we single moms to do it??? I am trying my hardest to raise 2 good kids in a time when people just don't instill values like they used to. I tell my son all the time, "Ladies first, hold the door, be a gentleman". All this while the man in front of men lets the door go and slam on us as we enter the store. Great example, dude. Thanks bunches. As for my daughter. She is NOT going to show her sadly inherited larger-than-they-should-be-boobs like all these other girls I see around her middle school. I yank that cammi up at least 5 times a morning before I finally say "Change!" and have to bicker with her about it. Really, she is a good kid. She doesn't fight me on much. And I know that she wants so much more than I can give her right now. Especially since she has "that friend" that constantly gets what she wants because mom and dad divorced and they both do what ever they can to buy her love. At least my kid recognizes thats whats going on. So I get madder. I work work work. And hardly ever sleep. I suffer from a severe case of psoriasis and each day I could dig myself raw with the stress of it all. Maybe if I just screamed??? Well, that would take energy I am not willing to waste. But I will keep praying. And writing you. And if no one reads, well, then it will be less embarassing if someone figures out this is who I am!! Until then, Like Stevie says: "No one knows how I feel / What I say unless you read between my lines"
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